It all started with a hamburger.

I love K-Love. If you don’t know what K-Love is, it is a Christian based radio station broadcasted across the United States. The music they play is what I would consider mainstream Christian or fitting to pop culture music, in the secular radio world.

I was listening to the K-Love and the morning show known as Carlos and Amy. They were presenting a Bit. You know a Bit? It’s a short funny routine or scene focused on a particular theme or idea.

Carlos presented the Bit:

It started with a hamburger. One evening, Amy had wanted a hamburger really bad. However, after 30 years of marriage, she finally decided to tell her husband that she did not like the way he cooked them.

Carlos was appalled by Amy deciding to tell her husband after 30 years, that she did not like the way he cooked her hamburgers. The discussion was a “pick” at Amy for how she could have done this after 30 years of marriage? In addition, if she were going to tell her husband, she should wait at least a week or two after he makes hamburgers, to tell him. That is when I was like- “Oh yuk.” They went on to take an opinion from a caller “who offered up” “The rule in their marriage” being “If you don’t say anything, then that is on you.” More yuk.

Then they got Amy’s husband Eric, on the phone. He went on to tell the truth about the story. Amy didn’t tell him directly that she didn’t like the way he made the hamburgers. Rather Amy said, “The kids do not like the way you make hamburgers.” In addition, he then told us that Amy doesn’t usually eat the hamburgers, but has a salmon burger instead.

The Bit took a left turn, with Carlos and the husband bashing Amy for saying anything about how Eric made the hamburgers, because when he confronted the kid’s they said, “We love the way you make hamburgers.” The focus of the Bit was, that Amy should not have said anything about how her husband made hamburgers because it has been 30 years. And the kids agreed. And further, an emphasis was put on the fact that, if Amy where to say anything, it should be two weeks after he made hamburgers as to not harm his ego. REALLY?

The Bit closed out with Carlos telling Eric how much Amy loves Eric – Amy cutting off Carlos to tell Eric she was sorry and how much she loved him.

Look, I get it. They are doing a Bit. It’s supposed to be funny and to their credit, it even ended with an I love you, from both spouses. However, this is Christian radio. They are the Christian Example that over 20 million people are listening too.

Here are the problems within this Bit that feed toxic messages from secular into Christian atmospheres.

• The focus of the Bit was that Amy should not have said anything about how her husband made her hamburger after 30 years.
• They completely missed an opportunity to share an anecdote we can only hope is the truth in this story. That Eric lovingly and willing made the hamburger exactly how his wife requested – OUT OF LOVE.
• They totally skipped over the fact that Amy told a lie when she told Eric that “The kids do not like the way you make the hamburgers.”
• Carlos repeatedly downed Amy for saying anything at all about how her husband made the hamburgers, due to the fact that it has been 30 years of marriage.
• Carlos also repeatedly delivered the message that a man’s ego is more important than what his wife prefers, due to the man’s sensitivity. If Amy was going to say something, she should not say anything for at least two weeks after the husband made the hamburgers. (Man up brother!)
• Amy should have apologized for misrepresenting (for all purposes lying) to her husband about her kids not liking the way he made hamburgers. (They could have totally made this Bit funny using the kids to call out Amy for lying)
• Eric should have told us that if he hadn’t already, was willingly to make Amy her hamburger anyway she wants even after 30 years– OUT OF LOVE.

Both Amy and Eric could have ended the bit with “I love you” as they did and the message could have been a healthy example of how a couple traverses their relationship together and LOVE each other through their challenges.  

Do you see the toxic messages in this Bit that could be spilled over into the Christian home? Again, I get it. It was a Bit. It was supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be loving. It certainly wasn’t meant to be harmful. However, I am confident they had no clue as to the underlying messaging they are delivering to 20 million people.     

The message was: The woman was wrong for saying anything about how her hamburger was made because she has put up with it for 30 years. The Husband was right, and the children enforced this with their answer. If Amy was to say anything at all, she should have waited two weeks to tell her fragile husband as to not harm his ego. Amy apologized and said, I love you and the message was: Amy was wrong for saying anything and if she did, it should have been two weeks after Eric made hamburgers.

I can only hope that people listening to this Bit, were able to decipher the toxic message within. However, my best guess is the comedy routine that was within the Bit hid the underlying toxic messaging.

Many of you might think. “Phil, you are being too critical.” Or “It was just a Bit and they didn’t mean any harm.” Trust me when I tell you, I agree with you but obviously I don’t. Because? I wrote about the truth:

This is how toxic messaging starts. This is how toxic messaging creeps into marriages. This how toxic messaging creeps into Christian atmospheres. It’s a “Creeping Death” and it’s “Sad but True.”

Watch Out! For hidden toxic messages!