If I knew what I know today I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten sober from sex addiction. Why – you say?

Because the cards that have been dealt, were not the cards I thought I was going to get as a result of changing who I was for the better of me and my family. You see, first I got sober for my family. Then, I realized that I needed to get sober for me. Then, I realized I needed to stay sober for God.

This line from the Big Book is what I hung on too that at times, seems like a total lie:

“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous and free.”

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pg 133

However:

I AM STUCK.
I AM HERE.
I MADE CHANGES.
I AM NOT THE PERSON I WAS FROM MY PAST.
I FOUND JESUS.

HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR MINE. Yes – the mine. JESUS DESTROYED THE MINE. 

JESUS GAVE ME HIS LOVE. And for that I am forever grateful. And? I WANT TO LOVE HIM BACK.  

SO?

I do it.

It’s not always graceful. Just ask Grace!
I struggle.
Sometimes, bipolar attacks.
Sometimes, my job sucks and pushes my moral boundaries…and that makes me really angry.
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with the responsibilities I have taken on…that are supposed to be fun for cryin out loud!
When the very thing I stand up for is the very thing that has stung me – it’s a hard pill to swallow.

But you know what?

THE AMAZING JESUS CHRIST IS THE ANSWER TO LIFE

LIFE SUCKS? – GOOD NEWS – JESUS DOESN’T!

Put that on a T-shirt!

And you know what? I only ever talk about Him as AMAZING. NOTHING LESS!

He is the source.
He is the reason.
He is my strength.
HE IS MY SAVIOR
He is the Hope.
He is real LIFE.
JESUS IS AMAZING.

How do I do this? Really I don’t – HE DOES.

It’s #JESUSFIRST.