Have you ever just blanked out? Or – Have you ever wanted to give someone something but you can’t because you don’t have it? You know what the person wants and you want to give it to them but you don’t even have access to it. In addition, you don’t even want access to it. You see it as no benefit to either of you so why would you want to go get it? It’s just pure garbage. I guess one man’s garbage is another persons treasure? It’s ok to laugh here….after all that is the joke…

In more recent days I have uncovered a few not so nice facts about my past. They are ugly. Probably because of all the work I have done on myself over the years, the information I accessed did not have impact on me. No drama. Meaning it did not have effect on my inner being or external behavior. What it did do, was put a little slight of hand in my feelings towards those individuals. I would like to say that it did not change those relationships but it kind of did. There is a new wall so to speak. It looks different. The wall is farther away from me and closer to those individuals. Meaning – eh – so I am sorry that you are having problems and I tried to help you but you won’t get help and you duped me in the past so eh – I can still be there for you but it will look different.

The BIGGER thing that came out of learning about those past events is, now because I am healthy, it pushed me towards love. We run towards love. I am running towards love. I am seeing the effects in my family. Dynamics are changing with my wife and my kids. I am getting better and I can see it. This is what I have always wanted. As Charlie Sheen said many years ago except he really wasn’t….. WINNING!

So someone wants my garbage because they think it is treasure. I have no desire to go get it for them but I certainly would if I could. I love giving and I would love to give it. I just don’t have it.

I AM BLANK