Today we have a reader submission on the topic of hope in dealing with a character defect. We all know this one – Procrastination. This was submitted by my friend Philip:

I used to think that procrastination was a lack of action, a kind of passive inaction, often connected to what I perceived as laziness. The fact that this so-called laziness did not manifest itself anywhere else in my life, that I was often almost obsessively busy with many activities, did not, in my mind, conflict with that judgment. It was easy to simply lump procrastination in with this almost mythical laziness and to avoid looking at the root causes of my procrastination.

This is not to say that procrastination did not have significant effects on my life. Indeed, it cost me money—lots of money—because I failed to take care of problems or situations in a timely manner. It led to anxieties about those problems and situations that could easily have been avoided if I had just done the one necessary thing in the moment. It led to guilt and shame, self-pity, and emotionally beating myself up over my inadequacies and failures. In other words it made my life unmanageable.

I think I really began to see Procrastination as a defect and truly work on letting go of it after this defect led to the loss of hundreds of dollars and some pretty significant debts. But, perhaps more than these consequences, it was the overall emotional pain I experienced by my procrastinating ways. The consequences led to guilt and to shame. And also a loss of reputation, respect, and trust within my own household. I now found myself having to claw back all three of these even as I had to deal with and accept the fact that the judgments of other people were negative. The impacts of this on relationships are too many to go into here but, suffice it to say, that the emotional results were almost entirely negative!

So, I started to pay more attention when this defect showed up and what I came to realize was that I was making a choice. And that choice was basically rooted in my self-will. The conversation would go something like this: “I don’t want to deal with this right now.” “OK, so don’t. Take care of it tomorrow.” It was my desire not to deal with something, no matter what the reason, that led to me procrastinating. When I recognized that, I saw that this was not so much a matter of inaction but
action; it was a choice I was making not to deal with something.

And it was my ego that was directing this conscious decision not to do what it was necessary to do. It was my self-will that was directing my decision. So, even as my procrastination had real consequences in my life, it also entailed the consequence of reinforcing my own will and my refusal to surrender. It reinforced my pride and the act itself and its habitual, almost instinctive, nature.

But, in my growing consciousness of the root causes of my procrastination lay the pathway to let go of it. Nowadays, I still procrastinate but I can, and do, let go of that and do the next indicated thing even when I don’t want to do it. It’s not a one and done thing; I’m not cured. But I am getting better and that is what counts.

End Story –

This story offers freedom to those who are willing to take up the internal battle, no matter what character flaw you might recognize. This story offers hope to those who are willing to do work to better self, for not only self, but for the better of others.

Thank you for sharing your story of your battle with procrastination. Thank you for sharing the work you have done to make improvements in that area of your life. Thank you for giving US Hope that we can make changes, and we can make improvements. Thank you for making changes in your life for not just self, but for those around you. Thank you Philip.