What does refinement look like? It looks like construction, only I hope less messy. It’s been a good start to the new year for me. I haven’t been able to say that – honestly?- I can’t even recall when I have been able to say that.

We are under refinement here at Give Your Story and my plan is for this refinement to parallel my personal life as well.  I have a plan for Give Your Story for 2025 that I shared here: Big Hope for Refinement in 2025. Personally, I am looking forward to refinement in 2025 as well.

Here is why 2025 has started out well for me:

1. Right out of the gate, I started New Year’s Day with a bible study with my wife.
2. The base of our house has been set for quite some time. However, we are under construction, started by yours truly. The project is biggerish and to keep things tidy, I plan phases of it to go through 2026. It is a gift for my wife. It feels good to be able to give to my wife.
3. I have a plan through 2025 that includes another construction project that is refinement of an existing gift. This one is for the family.
4. My marriage feels stronger than ever and I have identified an area where I am already excelling in my personal growth. Mental load is a thing. I stepped up to the plate in our marriage a while ago in carrying mental load. However, my Soap Hope for 2025 helped me identify a deeper sense of where I can carry mental load, and I am already on it!

Mental Load Sharing Examples:

1. I used to let the dishes pile up in the sink. I figured I would just get to them when I got to them. You know…like when it’s unbearable. My wife prefers to get them done way before that factor and especially before we prepare dinner. For a long time now, I participate in her preference not only because it helps physically, but it helps reduce her mental load. I also admit it is a good plan for cleanliness and to be able to work in the sink as you make dinner. (Because my solution to needs for the sink during dinner prep would be to just remove the loaded dish rack from the other side of the sink)
2. My wife and I share mental load in planning dinners. She used to do all the planning. It’s not official, but for a long while, we communicate planning dinners together and we work it out.
   • Of course, there is MORE.

Mental Load Sharing Refinement Examples:

1. When my wife drives short distances and I am passenger, her purse ends up in the passenger seat next to my legs. When we arrive, I get out of the car and wait for my wife. It always feels like it takes my wife forever to get out of the car while I stand there and wait. I have identified that I can hand her purse to her to not only be courteous and helpful but take away that split second of mental load.  
2. My Soap Hope Fun Fridays! post further revealed what I already know. My wife thinks forward. (She also thinks backwards in a good way but that’s a story for another time) She sees she will need a new soap and or I will need new soap. She gets the new bar and I get the chiclets! Now, I see that she needs new soap and I get her a new bar of soap and I take the chiclets!
   • Of course, there is MORE.

THE MORE:

I have a personal outlook for 2025 that has already made me feel FULL.

It looks like this:

Mathew 28:18-20 Jesus tells His followers to “make disciples of all nations”

Another Christian reached out in the name of Galatians 6. Not only do I need a close mentor, but I can show him. I want to mentor him. I want to show him Jesus. The offer is on the table and he already accepted. My heart thumps in aguish because he does not know Jesus. My heart thumps for Joy because the potential for him to meet Him is real. He shares my long-ago struggle of growing up without a good father figure. Out of the gate, the plan is to just be friends and share fellowship. Just like Peter, I want to go fishing with him. I want to show him life skills and give him everything I can, in effort to show him Jesus along the way. I envision him coming to church with us. I envision him taking the responsibility of ownership and accountability and the desire to seek Jesus. I envision an already nice young man become the man Jesus wants him to become. The Joy in my heart overflows when I see what my Jesus has given me an opportunity to be part of. My heart jumps for Joy as I envision his future.

Will you join me?

We are Under Refinement!