Like how do we know God’s truth and still choose the lie?

Today, I am reflecting on my active sex addiction days. When I think back on those days, I recall how I held a very high standard. High standard for you. Meaning – It was ok if I didn’t meet the standard.However, you better. Because-well – We all know what God expects. So I would hold that high standard for you without room for error. But for me? I held the standard except when I didn’t want to of course. That reason invariably always had to do with getting what I wanted. SEX. So, it wasn’t outside the box to cheat, steal (from myself) and lie to get what I wanted. Somehow, I was able to function in this space even though subconsciously I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was in denial. When I look back at that, it is quite profound to me. Like how did I live that way and still convince myself I was okay?

LIKE HOW?

Is this you?

How do you cover for someone who abuses you?
How do you constantly tell lies to people about your life and walk around feeling ok?
How do you hurt another person with your words and think that is how life is supposed to be?
How do you silence your own heart just to keep the peace?
How do you call chaos “normal” and pain “love”?
How do you shrink yourself so small no one notices you disappearing?
How do you defend someone who keeps breaking you?
How do you ignore the knot in your stomach that says something is wrong?
How do you not see that you are being controlled?
How do you keep forgiving without being healed?
How did you lose your voice but think you actually have one?
How do you live someone else’s version of your story and call it truth?
How do you carry shame that was never yours to begin with?
How do you keep choosing survival when you were meant for freedom?

LIKE HOW?

Romans 7:19-20

For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

LIKE HOW?