Today I am sharing a story with you in the form of a letter I wrote in early 2021 to a woman from my home church where I grew up.

Please note: The letter has been edited for length and privacy (and even spelling and grammar eek!). In addition, some first and last names have been changed or omitted for privacy purposes.

Dear Jenna Mae,

I am writing today to express my sincere gratitude and to celebrate Skip’s life with you. There are certain icons I grew up with at St. John’s who have deeply impacted me, and Skip Jones was one of those icons. He will forever remain in my mind as a pillar of St. John’s and an example of Jesus. What a beautiful way to celebrate his life!

I would like to share my very first memory of Skip. I wonder if you recall this story? I want to say I was just 8 or 9 years old—quite young. I am sure my father had already passed. We were at Kenny and Doris Baylor’s house in East Lawn for a Sunday School picnic. It was quite the time, as I recall.

I was down at the creek with my brother. I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on in the yard, but I do recall seeing two guys throwing a frisbee back and forth. They kept getting closer to us, and before I knew it, here comes this guy barreling towards me at high speed, chasing a frisbee right into the creek! Everyone was laughing hysterically because—well, it was just so funny!

There was Skip, standing in the creek, soaking wet, laughing, and no he didn’t even catch the frisbee! That’s when I realized the even more hilarious irony of the situation. Skip had a light blue T-shirt with a picture of a whale on it. I can visualize it in my mind today. Now, it is no secret Skip was a large-built man, and somehow, in my silly way that I still have to this day, I connected the entire event with his build and the shirt. In the middle of all the laughter, I recall blurting out and pointing at his shirt yelling, “THE WHALE!!!”

And I am sure you recall, for many years to come, that is how I knew Skip—THE WHALE. The name even carried on for a while with other icons from St John’s. It certainly was never meant to be disrespectful, but rather just a wonderful, funny reminder of a really funny event.

Here are some things that I recall that make Skip such an icon at St. John’s:

First and foremost was his dedicated service to St. John’s. He was always there, serving in some capacity. That is what I recall. It was an example that I witnessed. I know that my mom served with Skip on the council, and I do know that he was a confidant to my mom. This is important because my father passed, and I missed a primary male example of what I was supposed to be doing as I grew up. Skip was someone who served as an example to me. Yes, mostly a silent example, but it is something that I hold within me. For that, I am thankful.

As I aged, THE WHALE name faded, and he became Skip to me. I never recall calling him Mr. Jones. He allowed that. It put me on his level. Other fond memories of Skip were our many trips to Yankee Stadium with Kenny Baylor. When my brother and I were invited to go see the Yankees with Kenny, which was quite often, it was usually Skip or Eddie who went with us. Believe it or not, I learned from those adventures also. What sticks in my memory is that between Kenny, Skip, and Eddie, they taught me how to be calm. It is not something I demonstrated as a young kid, mind you. These are examples that, gradually as an adult, I came to realize I needed to follow; and along with that realization came the memory of who taught me these examples.

It was okay to lose, and when you did, you just walked out, threw on the talk radio, and talked about it on the way home. When you won, you got excited and maybe threw a fist in the air, but you still just stood there with a smile on your face—no need to jump up and down and act crazy.

As I age, the icons I recall from St. John’s are slowly fading. However, those like Skip will forever carry on within me. My mom kept me informed along the way, and it broke my heart to hear how Skip developed Alzheimer’s and was mostly not aware of his surroundings near the end. She also told me that his good friend Eddie, who joined us at the Yankees games, was also in the same unit, and they weren’t even able to recognize one another. I was comforted to know that you were close by and able to visit. It must have been really hard for you.

While I never knew Skip in a close way, he was well-known to me on Sundays. He served as an example to me as I grew up at St. John’s. What this means to me today is that what he did was just as Jesus would want us to do. His service to St. John’s and his impact on me, and I am sure others, will carry on. Today, I also serve in our church just as Skip did. I can only assume that, in part, his example is being carried on. Thank you for sharing him with me.

My wife Grace and I have been teaching Sunday School together. We split the lesson as we see fit as we work through it and then present it together. It is an awesome enhancement to our marriage. Our more recent lesson closed with Philippians 4:7. It is something I am sure you will recognize as a closing that was used at St. John’s quite frequently:

And the peace of God which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Take care,

PEACE

Phil Messinger

This past weekend while visiting my mom I was able to attend church while I was in town. After the service was a fellowship hour. There I saw one of Skip’s daughters for the first time since his passing. I’m deeply humbled to find out that my letter was shared at Skip’s celebration of life service. Had I still lived in the area, I certainly would have made myself present to celebrate his life.

One of Skip’s calling was to serve in a capacity in church. Jesus gave us the Church. This is yet another reason why church is so important. See, while Skip knew he was supposed to serve at the church, what he did not know is the reach and impact of his service. Do you see the importance? I hang out in a Christian forum where many (particularly women) have been harmed by the message in their church. Many have stopped attending church due to the harmful messages they received. While I do understand this reasoning, it is imperative that we work on ourselves to overcome the damage from others so that we can find a healthy church to help other christians. Our presence in the church can reach someone even if it’s just them enjoying you sing during the church service. Maybe it’s just your smile that gives them hope. Maybe it’s the example you set as others watch from the pew.

Maybe it’s just your smile that gives them hope.

Skip knew what his calling was. Through God’s grace I am grateful to know what my calling is. God has given me my calling. I received this from God through the wealth he has given me. NO! NOT MONEY! My wealth has been freely given to me through my faith in HIM! Not works based but faith! However, when I do the hard work to get through my hardships and accept the grace through the highlights of my life, God speaks to me and gives me wealth in the form of fruit! Here is what I have been called to do:

1. Love Christ first and have a relationship with Him.
2. Love my my wonderful wife with all my heart as we strive to be more like Christ together.
3. Be a loving father and family man for my children while showing them Jesus.
4. Help men with sex addiction through 12 step fellowship.
5. Provide HOPE to others by leveraging my story and yours.
6. $upport my favorite Jesus centered ministries – For we are saved by God’s grace not works! However, Faith without works is dead!

Read my Mission Statement here: https://giveyourstory.com/mission-statement/

James 2:18 – But someone will say “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

Do you know your calling?