Today’s story submission has been given by a family member who already shared his struggle and hope on Facebook. Mark Boyle, who is most likely my most musically inclined cousin In-law, gave me permission to share his story here at Give Your Story.
Mark shares with us, his struggle with a mental health condition. I am so appreciative of this and I love his honesty and his underlying reason for being vulnerable. HOPE FOR OTHERS.
Sharing personal battles and being vulnerable allows others who might be struggling, to feel Hope. It also often compels others to want to share their struggles to give hope as well.
Here is Mark:
I have been dealing with ADHD loooong before I finally got a formal diagnosis.
I recall the day I was assessed at Rutgers. I went to Livingston Campus I believe and took a series of tests.
Afterwards, the person I met with said to me, “Ok. You have ALL the symptoms…even the weird ones. No H, but you have everything else.”
I’m guessing that person probably shouldn’t have said, “even the weird ones,” but I understood where they were coming from and took no offense.
Lack of punctuality is oft associated with ADHD, and it’s something I overcame with the military’s help. Now, being on time, starting on time, and ending on time are woven into every fiber of my being – so much so that if I am late, I get incredibly upset.
That last part is related to another symptom of ADHD- emotional regulation (or – I suppose – the inability to effectively regulate emotional responses to a giving situation). That has always been a challenge for me.
But…a friend (who is a mental health professional, but I won’t name here) has suggested that if I have built structures within me to overcome the punctuality issue, I am capable of finding mechanisms to manage the emotional regulation symptom of ADHD.
In the 14 years since my diagnosis, I never thought of it with this perspective.
Thinking back, I have most certainly had moments in which I have overreacted to a given situation, ranging from simple things to serious things. I am aware of- particularly with hindsight – how this looks from the outside. I don’t like it and I am always full of remorse.
My brilliant friend is right. I know I can address this.
I should have listened to Mr. Rogers more closely…😊
“What do you do with the mad that you feel
Fred Rogers
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong…
And nothing you do seems very right?”
Jane and many of my close friends have seen me emotionally overreact. They have been so understanding over the years. It’s time…albeit a bit late…to be proactive about this aspect of myself that I truly don’t like and work to change it.
I’m truly grateful for those around me who will help keep me honest as I work on this facet of my being.
I’ve always been very open about these types of things – mainly because I think that if I share what I’m going through and there’s even one person out there who is going through something similar, they might feel less alone. 😊
Mr. Rogers is one of my favorite Public examples of good character and values. I have been a fan long before the movies made in his honor and long before he passed. Mr. Rogers has been my Avatar for my Fantasy Football League profile, known as Long Distance Neighbor, for the past 9 years.
Amazingly, on his deathbed, Fred Rogers asked his wife. Have I been a sheep? Everything that man did, and he still wasn’t sure? Some might question these last words. They might say, “If Mr. Rogers isn’t sure, what hope is there?” This my perspective: Fred Rogers was telling us that we can never do enough. We can never give enough and that we should give beyond giving. That’s the Hope. Fred Rogers kept Hope alive for us in his presence in life and he has provided us a path for continued hope with his question at his death.
Thank you, Mark, for allowing me to publish this. Thank you for Giving Your Story to others in the name of Hope.
GIVE YOUR STORY
If you’re interested in Giving Your Story of Hope, you can email your story to Phil@giveyourstory.com following the provided story sharing guide below.
Story Giving Guide
Story Giving Guide: Your story can be about any topic. For your story to be considered it should include what happened, how you overcame the experience, and what it is like now. Your story can be submitted in a short paragraph or you can give more detail. Please keep your story to a 5 minute read (approximately 1000 words) maximum. This is a safe place to share your story. You may submit your story anonymously if you choose. Obscene words if part of the story may be altered or obscured. Negative feedback to a story of hope will not be tolerated. If your story is considered for post it may be edited for spelling, grammar, content and length. Thank You.