Today’s tell it Tuesday is from a friend of mine Philip, who has submitted before. I am late out of the gate this morning, a story for Fun Friday! While I was preparing this, Philip called me. He had no idea his submission was about to go up today. And we chatted about a topic that was challenging him. What did I do? I Gave him My Story. At the end of the story, he said “Let me get this straight” And he went on to give me the most blunt several sentence long summary of the story I just told. Here is a general summation without the personal details of what Philip said. “So what you are telling me is you have the same story, and I should make the best choice that helps me manage this situation today and stop worrying about all the poor choices I made in the past that got me to where I am today….and just go be at peace.” Now imagine if I would have not told the story and just gave him his blunt summary that he gave me, with even more directness? Me? I would probably have some choice things to say….instead…I told him a story and he saw how it applied to his life and came up with his own idea of a club over the head statement. And I pointed that out to him and WE LAUGHED!

Here is Philip telling us about his Inventory Perspective on Cynicism:

It came to me, almost as a revelation, that cynicism was a character defect. I had not thought, up to that point, that an attitude of mind could be a defect but, as I have been examining my defects over the past few months, my understanding of what form a defect can take has changed and this led me to a new defect to deal with. There is much to be cynical about in this world. The actions of those in power, the self-interest of those who, on the surface, seem charitable and generous, the glee with which many embrace ideas rooted in malice and hatred, the failure of systems large and small to ensure the health, well-being, and safety of us all, all fuel cynicism. But it is all too easy to cast a large blanket of cynicism over almost everything, to be blind to the complexity and beauty of humanity. Cynicism is an acid that dissolves the good. It is a blindness to reality that allows for evasion, denial, reduction, simplification, and rejection of connection. What I realized was that cynicism was judgmental and dismissive. Indeed, I might argue that cynicism is the opposite of love. I also realized that cynicism fueled resentment by characterizing the objects of its vision as villains who negatively impact my life, making me into a victim. And, of course, what is the consequence of this? Anger and self-pity. Cynicism not only takes the good and turns it into the bad, but it also allows me to deny connection, to turn away from actions that might actually contribute to the general good. It permits dissociation with others and can even undermine my recovery and program. If I enter a room with a cynical attitude, everything and everyone in that room will somehow appear hollow, their words and actions corroded by an acidic filter. I am not arguing that I should be naïve; that, perhaps (and this is an important perhaps), leaves me too vulnerable. But, it might be better to hope for the best, hope that people mean what they say, that there is good in the world, that even sentimentality offers a brighter, more sustaining vision than crude cynicism does.

In the end, will not my life be better overall if I approach it with trust, with belief in goodness and in humanity? To suffer some disappointments may be a small price to pay.

End Story

Thank you, Philip for your submission. I do appreciate you helping me out at Give Your Story. Our convo today was even more valuable to me.

If you don’t sea from the story, let me be blunt. – Don’t be Cynical. It is harmful to self.

AND THERE IS HOPE INSTEAD.