In the 12 step rooms, the 4th step is taking an inventory. Until we get to that point, which often takes an extended period of time, your Sponsor is taking your inventory for you. This process is different for each person. We also say in the 12 step rooms, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. It is for sure slow, if one keeps acting out. There is also hope, that while your Sponsor is taking your inventory, they are also teaching you how and you are learning how to take your own inventory at the same time.
Isn’t it funny how we can always take someone else’s inventory, but we have trouble taking our own? I have been looking at my “Inventory” for 22 years. This topic reminds me of a job I once had. It was taking inventory at a bakery. The Parts Room Manager would provide a list of items to inventory. I would then take the inventory of those items, then the Parts Room Manager would check my work against the recorded inventory. The goal was to get a 100%. Often, I would need help finding an item, or someone would mislabel (previous guy right?) or misplace an item on the rack. So, it took work as a team to get the Inventory correct.
Mathew 7:3-5 NIV
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Recently a writer friend of mine Becca, was pointing out an area that I needed to look at. She is super smart and has a degree in psychology. I am pretty sure her dream job would be to be a Psychologist.
She pointed out that I needed to watch out for old patterns. It was something I hadn’t thought of. Now many people, would not take that and look internally. It’s just not a natural process for us to say, “Hey! I might have something wrong with me!” Many people might even be offended. For me however, it didn’t take but a quick second to see it.
In recent posts, I have been talking about feeling alone NOTICE and I have been referencing my desire for fellowship What about Moses? Community. If I sum up what I am looking to do, it is to shift my Gifts to a place where we rely on each other for support, accountability, encouragement, correction, fellowship, and assistance. And if I twist it just right, it’s biblical:
Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
However, I have a history with abandonment. I have a history of running in fear from feeling lonely. I have a history of engaging in behavior patterns that are unhealthy, to self soothe and avoid my fear of abandonment and loneliness.
The facts are; I do have a space and or spaces where I can live out where we rely on each other for support, accountability, encouragement, correction, fellowship, and assistance. It’s just not organized how I want it to be. And I can make that biblical too, if I twist hard enough. See It’s the Body. The Body is One. So, my twist? One body means – One stop shop. I walk into one space and it’s all there right in front of me….just the way I like it. Sounds kinda fleshy doesn’t it?
So that’s what I sea. Maybe I should just get over it eh? Or maybe I should go biblical with it?
Mathew 27:46 NIV
46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).
Talk about feeling alone? God looked away from the sin of the people, God looked away from the suffering of His son. God looked away from Jesus. Imagine His pain?
Yet, Jesus sustained.
John 20:1-18 NIV
The Empty Tomb
20 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
Have you seen the empty grave? Do you know what this means? Imagine you are Mary and you witness this? How do you think you would feel? It is lonely. Extremely lonely. What would you do? What did she do? She ran to tell the disciples. She ran to tell them.
He is showing me. He is showing you. He is showing us – JESUS.
Isn’t it Amazing?