Love YA!

How did I learn to say I love you to another man? My friend Mark taught me.

Growing up without a father left me with an empty space. Being groomed and molested by my Youth Pastor from ~ 14- 16 years old, left me with homophobia. These factors made understanding love as a youth, difficult for me to begin with. Knowing how to express love to a man as an adult, was non existent.

However, I had two friends in the neighborhood growing up – The twins, Mark and Evan. Evan and I had the closest relationship that started way back in first grade. By Junior High School, we sat on the bus with each other every day until we started driving. Evan and I attended college together and would continue to become even closer, eventually becoming best friends.

Mark and I were not as close, but became closer after we left high school. We had a clan of friends. Evan and I would visit Mark at college and our group of friends became close. When we would see Mark, often I was with Evan traveling to see Mark. Or Mark was coming home to see family. When Evan would meet up with Mark, they would hug. Mark would always say to his brother and family, “Love YA!”. It was his way of expressing love to his family. I observed this many times over the years. It was the example I never got to see growing up. That example would soon become reality for me, as I too started hugging my friends saying “Love YA!” Our last group outing together was a trip to Ocean City Maryland in June of 1997.

That July, my girlfriend Grace (now wife of 25 years) and I traveled to Kansas to meet up with our extended families that live in the eastern part of the state. On the return plane ride back, I had a premonition that something wasn’t right. While on the plane, we talked about Mark and his lack of good driving skills. Grace had driven back with him from Maryland and confirmed his not so great driving skills. Mark had also been in an accident in high school, wrapping the mustang around a telephone pole. There is no irony, that the last picture of Mark that I took, is of him driving in an Ernie Irvan (Also known as Swervin Irvin-spelling correct) #28 Nascar paint schemed Go-Cart.

The next morning after we got home from the airport, one of our friends called Grace. Mark and Evan were in a bad accident on their way to see the band LIVE in concert, that Friday evening. Mark had misread the road at a tricky Y intersection and missed the stop sign. Mark was on life support which was to be removed later that day.

Mark Groner – son, brother, friend, music teacher, and LOVER passed from this earth July 26th, 1997.

This Saturday, will Mark 28 years without you brother.

Thank you Mark, for your example to me. We miss you and Love YA! Mark!

Here’s to ya Mark! Love YA!