Today’s post was submitted by my friend Chris. His testimony is quite BRAVE. There is no need for further introduction. Here is Chris:

I would like to start this testimony off by saying that Jesus is KING! He is the reason all things exist and all things were created in and through him. As a follower of Christ I acknowledge that my main purpose in this life is to know him, love him, love his children, and spread the good news to everyone I possibly can. To sacrifice my life to achieve his will and purpose for my life on this side of heaven. To aim to be perfect as he was perfect; even though I exist in this flawed human body. Even though we live in an evil and perverse world, I am called to be salt and light. And the life I experience because of this calling is absolutely beautiful! One of the coolest things to experience as a disciple of Christ is when the scriptures manifest in our lives. A well-known verse in the bible is Romans 8:28. It affirms that when we love God and are called according to his purpose that all things work together for the good. Something that I said for over a decade of my life is “my name is Chris Landreth and I’m an
alcoholic”. I spent many hours, days, weeks, months, and years in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Looking back on my time in the program I can say that it blessed me in so many ways. The greatest way that it blessed me is that it led me back to Jesus. It helped me to disconnect from a toxic lifestyle long enough to reconnect with the faith I was raised to believe in. Did I enjoy church as a child? No. I found it boring. Being able to find Jesus again towards the end of a destructive season in my life was crucial for me. I was able to start over again sober and seeking after the Lord. I say all of this for the purpose of setting the stage for this testimony. A little over a month ago I was invited to go to Carowinds to celebrate with someone who was turning 40. It was very hot that day. It was in the mid 90’s and attendance was scarce because of the heat. We spent about 6 hours riding roller coasters and doing what we could to stay hydrated. After we left the park we all went out to grab a bite to eat. I had a soda and some chicken wings. It was a great time! We said our goodbyes and parted ways. I hopped in my car to make the hour and a half drive back home. This is when things start to take a turn for the worse. I made the decision to stop at a convenience store before getting on the highway and grabbed 2 alcoholic drinks. I chose to drink them on the drive home. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I have done something like this over the last few years. I used to drink to get drunk every single time I drank. It was oblivion or nothing for me. After I gave my life to Christ and began seeking him, something changed. I was drawn to drink again, but my goal wasn’t to get drunk. My goal was to grab ahold of control in my life. To take the edge off and be able to exhale. I’m not saying this is a justifiable reason. As a christian I am to lay down my life. I am to go to Jesus for the exhale. To seek his presence and allow that to sustain me in every area and situation in my life. But as I said, I am a flawed human being. I am a broken and sinful man. I still have days where I choose to do things my way and suffer the consequences of my choices. As I was driving back I began to realize that something wasn’t right. I was about 30 minutes out from being home and knew that I needed to stop somewhere and assess what was going on. When I got out of the car I couldn’t walk straight. I was drunk. I was drunk for the first time since 2008 and I was scared. I made another bad decision and chose to finish the drive home, since I was so close. Immediately after getting home, I went straight to my bedroom. As soon as I sat down on the floor, the room started spinning and I began to vomit. That lasted for about 2 hours and then I passed out.
My wife is an amazing woman. She is completely different from the woman I married in 2010. I say that as a compliment to her. I am blessed to have been able to witness her transformation. I’m still witnessing it today. She has extended grace and mercy to me over the years, that mirrors my messiah. I have taken her on a roller coaster ride of emotions with my habitual sins. I do my best to not keep secrets from her or hide anything from her anymore. We have built a very strong partnership. Showing up so drunk that I vomited for 2 hours and passed out after a day of fun in the sun at Carowinds was hard for her to process. She had been home all day with our 6 kids, gone to church, taken care of her parents, and hosted dinner guests that day. I woke up laying on the floor of a darkened bedroom at 10pm. I stumbled out to see my wife sitting on the couch watching TV. It wasn’t until I thought about it, that I came to understand why the alcohol hit me so hard that day. I was extremely dehydrated. The next few days were really rough for me. I was consumed with thoughts of what could have happened that day. All of the scenarios where I didn’t make it home safely. Thinking about being pulled over by the cops, getting into an accident, possibly killing someone else, or killing myself in the process. Having very heavy thoughts about what that could have meant for the life of my family. How their reality would have been instantly altered by no fault of their own. I was asking so many questions to myself and in prayer about why any of it had happened. Then my fleshly and sinful nature began to come back to me. Suddenly I’m consumed with thoughts about when the next time my wife and I will have sex. I was feeling remorseful over my actions, because of how it has affected our sexual intimacy. That is when I believe the holy spirit began to break through to me. I had a thought about fasting from sex and other things as a way to make things right. As a way to repent for my actions.
I, Chris, am the least likely person to give that as an option or a pathway to repentance. Fasting from sex with my wife, to me, sounds like a horrible idea. God’s thoughts are higher than mine and his ways are different. I was talking to my wife later that same day and she brought up the verse in scripture about that very thing. 1 Corinthians 7:5 states that a husband and wife must not deprive themselves of sex except for an agreed upon time frame for the purpose of devoting themselves to prayer. As soon as she said the verse I knew that it was Jesus telling me to go forward with the fast. I also already knew the time frame for the fast. The conversation we had was around August 1st and our wedding anniversary is August 21st. So we agreed to fast from sex until our anniversary. I have a very lustful heart. I do what I can to turn my face away and to avoid overly sexual things with my eyes. I would be lying if I said I was perfect. When the sex fast started, I also decided to fast from social media of any kind. I stopped watching certain TV shows as well. I wanted to really devote myself to this fast and trust Jesus to cause a transformation in my marriage and intimacy with my wife.The beginning was difficult. I had very intense urges and I even had a dream one of the first nights about having sex. After about a week things calmed down and it felt as though I was coasting. I prayed all the time. A prayer I have had for years, is that Jesus would give me eyes to see what he sees when he looks at my wife. To show me her true beauty. That prayer was answered during the fast! My eyes were drawn to her every time she would walk in the room. I began to see how much she radiates the spaces she is in. I saw Jesus when I looked into her eyes. I desired to be as close to her as I possibly could be and thanked Jesus daily that she is my wife. I gave praise that I had her in my life. I began to feel excited to see her again. The change I felt, in how I felt about her, was incredible. It also began to change my relationship with Jesus. I felt his healing power first hand. I felt him in my heart and knew deep down inside that he loves me. I began to trust that he can sustain me in all areas of my life. Especially in the area of intimacy in my marriage. Sex is an area I have not trusted him with before now. I didn’t know how to. I made a sacrifice for Jesus and he showed up for me in a big way. This story is finally coming to a conclusion as I write. We ended up having to wait about a week after our anniversary due to physical restrictions to have sex. I was in prayer in the morning of the day we ended the fast and Jesus spoke to me. He gave me a message of encouragement designed to help me to shift my focus. I began to write something after I prayed and I believe the holy spirit led me through it. I wrote:

God’s Design for Sex
Adam and Eve knew each other in the Garden of Eden, and it didn’t consume them. It didn’t take precedence over God. Sex, from the beginning, was pure. It was part of God’s design for unity, creation, and joy — never something to replace our focus on Him.

Sex IS
Sex is God’s gift to man and woman with the purpose of creation and pleasure. Sex is consensual, mutual, and pleasurable for both. Sex is God’s gift to husband and wife to give pleasure to each other. In a true Christ-centered marriage, sex is praise and worship. Jesus needs to be the focus before, during, and after sexual intimacy — praising Him always for the wonderful gift given to man and woman. Finally, allowing sex to truly become what it was given to be. An act of worship to Jesus. A way to say that we love Jesus and cherish the gift that he blessed us with.

Sex is NOT
Sex is not just a physical act. It is so much more!
Sex is not meant to be a battle in our marriages. That is not God’s design. Sex is not every man’s battle. Sex is not meant to consume the thoughts of either partner. Sex is an area of great potential for sin, and it is often where both men and women struggle in their marriages. Sex is an area that Satan often tries to influence us — twisting what is holy into something harmful.
We must declare war on this sin. The call of Jesus is a call for us to declare war on sexual sin that tears marriages apart, to do battle against the worldly temptations designed to pull the eyes of a man away from the beauty of his wife. Sex has great potential to be warfare in marriage — not against each other, but against the enemy who wants to destroy what God created as good.

Let this be our war cry:
“YOU CAN’T HAVE OUR MARRIAGE.”

I return to Romans 8:28. This story began with an extreme breach of trust and a harmful blow to our marriage. Thankfully there is confession and repentance for the believer. A choice to turn away from our sin and run back into the arms of Jesus. The ending of the story has my wife and I in the best place our marriage has ever been in. After 15 years and six children, we are more in love now than we have ever been. Jesus is in the center of it all and we both feel safe and secure. Praise Jesus for his miracles!

End Story

Chris, I want to thank you for all your support that you have given me here at Give Your Story. I want to thank you for allowing our friendship to grow, even though we have held some differences along the way. It has been my pleasure to watch you and be part of your growth and journey in Christ. I think my favorite moment so far, has been you and I sitting on my front porch sharing our stories with each other. Thank you once again for your brave testimony. I am most positive your testimony will bear FRUIT that will be witnessed among us ALL.