What Does Good Fruit Look Like?

When you reflect on your life what do you see? When I reflect on my life, I see a result of circumstances that was a mix of good and bad. Some bad was given to me without a choice. Other bad was created by me and others and I had choice in the matter. Good was also present. Sometimes people confuse good with the wrong things.

Sea, depending on how you look at my life you could say “I had it good”. Or you could say the results have been good. Growing up, we lived in what I believe is a fairly common American tradition. The world of abundance. We had a large home with an in-ground pool in the back yard and plenty of space to play in the back yard as well. Yes, we had plenty of stuff. Financially we were taken care of. To the eyes of many this looks great. One might say when looking at this aspect of my life, that “I had it good.” And we did.

Except: Internally as a family, things were often out of balance. Unfortunately, when I reflect, the out of balance feels like it was mainly created by me with my behavioral issues. Little did I know, that bipolar activity was developing and occurring within me. Little did I know, that sexually compulsive behavior was becoming the medicine of my choice to deal with the pain of losing my father at age 7, and the chemical imbalance of my brain that was happening.

I was losing the battle well into my 20’s, as I dove deeper into self-absorption and sexually compulsive behavior. It is at my surprise 25^th year birthday gathering where I reflect on where I recall Love entering my life as a factor. My then girlfriend, now wife, invited many of my friends to gather at my childhood home where I still lived. One of my friends who had a twin brother was also there.

I had been watching these twin brothers for quite a while. I grew up with them both, as friends in my neighborhood. Evan is still my best friend today, and his brother Mark had just passed the month before in a tragic car accident. When Evan arrived at the party, I gave him a classic hug his brother would give. I big bear hug and pats on the back with a firm, “Love Ya”. Just like his brother Mark would have done.

That is the love that I wanted that I had been witnessing in these two brothers. That is the love that has grown inside me since. That is the Fruit that I have been blessed with as a result of a lot of hard work. I ran after Love.

Work:

1. Work to be a better Self.
2. Work to be a better Son.
3. Work to be a better Husband.
4. Work to be a better Father.

Grace

5. Work to be a better Jesus Lover.  

I have failed in so many ways in my lifetime. Somedays are still a struggle. The good news is that my struggle, while still not pretty at times, is much easier than it used to be.

Prayer:

God thank you for all that you have given me. Thank you for giving me your Grace and Grace – my wife. Thank you for showing me Love. Thank you for the continuous opportunity to keep on working to produce the Fruit for others to pick. Thank you for giving me family and friends to Love and imitate Jesus the best I can. Thank you for producing the Fruit within me, for me and for others.

LOVE YA!