Friday night I had an intense dream.

In the dream, I was at a funeral. It was a very sad funeral. We had lost someone significant. I was standing in the back and began praying intensely for the people. My prayer was extremely deep and for the good of the people. In the middle of my prayer, I began to be taken up away from the crowd. I knew that this was Jesus who had come to get me. As I continued to rise towards the sky, the inner excitement inside me was beyond words of this world. Apparently, in my sleep, my breath began to become quite labored. My labored breath woke my wife from her sleep, and she began attempting to wake me. Jesus was taking me with Him in my dream and my wife was shaking me saying “Phil, Phil, Phil.” As I began to become conscious, I selfishly let out a “Leave me alone.” to my wife. I REALLY wanted to see what was going to happen! Instead, I was awakened by my wife to which I apologized for my half-conscious semi rude response and went back to sleep.

In Sunday School this past Sunday, we were talking about Acts 1:12-26 – The gist of these verses contains a lot of material to discuss. The quick summary is, the disciples are replacing Judas who had hanged himself after he sold out Jesus. Replacing leaders and the qualifications they should possess was a good portion of our discussion. Our Pastor, who typically attends our class stayed longer than he usually does. (He usually steps out early to prepare for church). He stayed for an extra 5 minutes and had some really good insight for us. It was a really good class. Then at the end of our church service, the Pastor and his wife stood before us to announce their dual retirement. He would be retiring from our church in June and his wife would be retiring from her job in a similar time frame.

To say I was shell shocked, would be an understatement. Of course, I am happy for them. I often have conversations with people about retirement and I am ALL FOR IT! I have way too many stories of watching folks retire and lose their health very soon afterwards, to the point of incapacity for the rest of their lives, and even death within just a few weeks of retirement. Heck, even one of my neighbors who I did not get a chance to get to know after we moved into our current house, died of a heart attack just one week before his retirement date. If you can afford to retire, I beg you to do it. I believe it can be a huge time of service to God and others in so many capacities. What an opportunity it is to retire.

Loss of leadership and direction is something that seems to be a message for me from 2024 into 2025. A relationship that I had for over 20 years, has been slowly fading off into the distance. Sometimes you outgrow others, and even though you still love them, it is time to move on. I lost two important leaders at the end of 2024 to other opportunities. One was a foundational leader for our children, and us as parents in the education system. My professional situation delivered yet another loss of my direct leader at the end of 2024. For quite some time now, I have been trying to build a new path spiritually. I have been trying to find a new spiritual leader and quite honestly, my pastor was filling that gap on Sundays. Selfishly, my hearty thumps in pain as I take in this big blow. What will I do now?

I wonder what the disciples thought when they lost their friend Judas? Honestly, when I read the scripture, the way it is written, there appears to be no emotion given to the disciples for the loss of their friend. Think about this for a minute. These men had a friend in Judas. They ALL walked with Jesus. Yes, I understand Judas sold out Jesus, and prophecy was fulfilled in scripture with this story. But what about their friend? What about the sadness for their loss? What about the sadness of the actions of Judas, and the results of his inner turmoil?

Death, Jesus and New Leadership.

Remember, I do not believe in coincidences. I wrote about that here: Back On Track! But here is my question?

What’s the Message?