Yesterday my wife and I were talking and she made a statement to me. She said, “ You are giving this too much power.” My response? Thank you for saying that.
It was the jolt I needed to have a second look.
Power is a word that some people struggle with. Some struggle with it because they seek power. Others struggle with it because they give up their power. Those that seek power love those who seek to give up their power. Those who give up their power loathe those who seek more power.
Let’s look at how we give our power away and how we should respond:
- Letting Others Define Your Identity – When someone else’s approval, opinion or criticism determines your worth.
Instead of: “I know who I am.”
It Becomes: “I am whatever you say I am”
- Avoiding Responsibility – Blaming circumstances, God others, parents, for every outcome.
Instead of: “I need to take responsibility for what’s happening.”
It Becomes: “They did this to me.”
Power is tied to responsibility. When you refuse responsibility, you hand over influence.
- Fear Based Compliance – Saying yes when you mean NO. Silencing yourself to avoid conflict. Staying small to Keep peace.
Instead of: “Yes you are hurting me.”
It Becomes: “I will lose their support if you do not do what they say.”
- Living in Reaction Mode – Allowing someone else’s behavior to control your emotional state.
Instead of: “They are angry, that is their problem.”
It becomes: “They are angry, you collapse.”
How to respond: Jesus never teaches people to become powerless doormats.
Luke 10:19 NIV
19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
When Jesus does teach “turn the other cheek.” It is not about giving away or losing your power.
IT’S ABOUT CHOOSING A HEALTHY RESPONSE, INSTEAD OF REACTING IN EGO.