What do you do when you feel uncomfortable?
Yesterday, I shared about having overwhelming feelings – that are not in our control.
They Just Happen!
I suppose this could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on our response. We could compare this to survival responses of Fight, Flight or Fawn. This can be applied to situational circumstances or it can just be feelings!
- Fight – Confront the threat. Feelings such as anger, hurt or sadness cause you to try and control the situation.
- Flight – Escape the threat – Avoidance, procrastination or mentally checking out, This can also be known as RUNNING FROM YOUR PROBLEMS.
The 3rd response is Fawn. This survival response is not talked about as much:
- Fawn – Appease the threat – Ignoring your own needs by pleasing others to keep the peace.
Depending on the circumstances, these can be healthy or unhealthy responses! When a person is emotionally immature, they will often act on their feelings in an unhealthy manner with these survival responses, without thinking them through.
Let’s talk about how to navigate our feelings in a healthy manner!
For me, my recent overwhelming personal feelings were not caused by me. It Just is! From what I have learned, my human response to my feelings is quite normal, given the circumstances.
Is it comfortable? NO! It is definitely not comfortable. Not only is it not comfortable, there is also an annoying physical feeling that is associated with my emotional feeling. This uncomfortable physical feeling is something that I would normally associate with my addictive past. Honestly? It’s quite annoying. In my past, I would act on this feeling with my addiction to numb out the annoying feeling. That’s what addiction and relationship dependencies are all about. We RUN to “comfort” to FEEL better. Comfort is in quotes because our version of “comfort” in addiction and relationship dependencies, is temporary relief that feels good in the moment, but causes long term life unmanageability! AKA – our version of “comfort” is actually HARMFUL!
However, this time. I am not acting on that feeling in an addictive way. Actually – in a strange way, I am enjoying it. Enjoying discomfort you say? Yes! When I think about it, it’s really Kewl. I have a feeling that produces dopamine in my body. That’s the rush. I used to call this rush of dopamine LUST. Others call this: fill in the “NAME”. Then I would act on that lust to release more dopamine to “escape” the feeling/urge. Then, in addiction or relationship dependencies, we become like the clothes washer: Rinse, Spin, Repeat.
This time I am done fighting. This time, I am done running. This time I am done fawning. This time, I ACCEPT THE FEELING. And while I am at times quite uncomfortable:
The root of my feeling is soul good.
It’s a positive influence that I care about, A LOT. And since I care about this soul influence A LOT, and it is a positive influence, I will ACCEPT THE FEELING, even though it is uncomfortable – AND?
I AM ENJOYING IT BECAUSE, THE ROOT IS SOUL GOOD.
The KEY to this situation is to proceed with caution. This is my first experience with this type of profound moment of this nature. Committing to self care and grounding myself with healthy coping mechanisms while adapting to this situation is a MUST!
Here is my healthy DECLARATION and PRAYER:
Thank you God for this incredible Gift of this experience of FEELING discomfort, yet ENJOYING THE ROOT THAT IS SOUL GOOD. I promise to proceed with caution and I ask you God to walk with me and keep us safe, as I experience this supernatural miracle of healing. It is my desire to traverse this experience in the most healthy of manners, so that I may heal together and share my experience with others, in effort to give them HOPE.
I thank God with much gratitude, for His healing power, given to me through the Fellowship and Community of Jesus Christ.
AMEN.